When We Feel Like Failures - Reflections from Erin Wallace

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Morning Highrock family, 

Yesterday I had an aha moment when parenting. And I need to share. It’s how I process and I hope it encourages you all.

Clive had cut his knee outside and it was dirty and needed to be cleaned out with peroxide. (Yes I’m that mom!)

Well Clive had a meltdown. An epic one.... And after long chats and struggles and eventual horrible responses on my part we got it clean and bandaged. 

As he left I called him back to apologize for losing my patience and being too harsh. We hugged and he apologized for resisting so hard. 

As he walked out I said, “Clive, I love you buddy.” 

“Sometimes there has to be pain before healing can happen.” 

And it struck me. It was like the Holy Spirit illuminating my heart. The two edged sword...

How often do I resist the pain, struggle and difficulty that the life brings. Parenting is hard and marriage is not always easy! 

Honestly, I avoid it like the plague! Struggling to change the circumstances, avoid the issue, numb myself with social media, books or movies.  I quietly wallow in self pity and ruminate on how pathetic and “unfair” it all is. I focus on myself, my failures or inadequacies. 

Yet it was only through Christ’s suffering, and pain that healing and freedom came to us. 

It was through His decision to surrender to God’s sovereignty and trust His Father that we are saved. 

To embrace the pain.

Why does our acknowledging and embracing our brokenness seem more like weakness? Why does recognizing our inadequacy feel like failure? 

It is in the broken moments we see our true need for God! This makes us strong NOT weak. It’s so very counter culture. 

It seems to me the root of the first sin was that humans thought they knew better than God. It’s the root of my struggle today. 

Self reliance.
Control. 
I can fix this....

But I can’t. 

I choose the way of surrender. 

Recognizing God is the Potter and I am the broken pot. I cannot possible fix my own cracks. 

If we don’t see or embrace our brokenness we won’t recognize or accept God’s healing hand, the Creator restoring His creation.

Let’s find our identity in Christ!

Love to you all,

Erin Wallace

 

*Highrockers! If you are ever interested in sharing a reflection, art piece, or poem on our blog, please email brynn@highrocknorthshore.org.